LOVE IS THE BRIDGE

The Good. This is the name that Mary of Magdalene named God. THE GOOD.

Imagining God The Good, instead of God the judgemental shifts every cell in my being to know a love that has been nearly lost.

When I was 5 years old my Papaw Poe and I were sitting on the couch in the basement chatting. I can remember every detail of that room and my guides often take me back to this very room when they have something to teach me. I can smell the room and see the view from out the back door out into the woods. I spent many days of my youth in that room, and its this one conversation, on this particular day, that stands out the most. A day and a conversation I’ve returned to over and over and over, in dreams awake and asleep.

I was always my Papaws buddy. The first grandchild holds a special place in the heart, just like the first child. Its a first love, and we share that love eternal. The love I carry for this man, who is now my guide on the other side, is a love that shaped me then and now.

And on this day Papaw asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. With absolute excitement I shouted “a preacher just like you!!” “When I grow up I’m going to be a preacher just like my dad and my papaw Poe and Papaw Clark!” I had a dream! I was going to walk in the footsteps of the men in my family to be a preacher.

My Papaws response still feels like a sting that deflated my big wild heart…."well sweetheart, you can’t be a preacher because you are a girl, but you could be a sunday school teacher or a secretary or a preachers wife.” Whooooosh! How many of us have had our big childhood dreams deflated, stolen, ripped from our creative hearts with just one breath out of someones mouth?

I’m 47 and I still feel Sarahs heart in this moment 42 years ago.

And heres the thing, what I saw as a preacher at that age was visting with people when they were sick, fixing meals to take to the 90 year old woman down the road who didn’t have family, making casseroles for the new mothers, spending hours and hours in the garden with my Papaw and the kitchen with Mamaw, and singing songs on Sundays at church.

I had no real knowing of the world outside those church walls, or the garden and forest I grew up in… not until my dad left the pulpit and we moved out of the woods.

It was then, in my teens that I began to question everything I had ever been taught in those walls.

It was then, in my teens that I began to receive visits from a feminine angelic presence, a presence I now know as Mary Magdalene.

As a child there was a chair that Yeshua would sit in and we’d chat for hours. He was one of many of my unseen friends. I had a tape recorder that I would record sermons on. I would sing hymns and recite scripture and give a message on that little tapedeck.

Then came my teens and the baptism of fire being ripped from a very protected life to experiencing the world outside the seclusion of church and the safety of the forest that held me as a little girl. A year into the outside world and I experienced the ultimate violation of body and spirit. The first rape I experienced stole every ounce of my innocence and I began the dark descent into the underworld.

Raised in the belief that God the Judge punished the bad and protected the good, I carried belief that I was being punished. For years I questioned what I had done to deserve to be punished by God. And then it happened again, this time so much worse. And for most of my teenage years, I lived in a deeply abusive relationship with a man who stole my power, my voice, my innocence, my joy, my creativity, my very life force.

I continued to hold onto the belief and the deep shame that I must have done something to anger God for all this to happen to me.

"Your image of God creates you—or defeats you. There is an absolute connection between how we see God and how we see ourselves and the universe. " _Richard Rudd

This is the truth that has guided the mystic within me.

And it was Mary Magdalene that showed me a new image of God, an image of THE GOOD that IS LOVE. Her love was the bridge that carried me back home to my truth, to the Truth of LOVE that is who I am.

As a teenager I began to ask a lot of questions. I imagine I asked questions as a child until I stopped and became subservient. I have this deep engrained wound I have been unbinding my whole adult life. This wound around being “the good girl in order to be loved”. This wound that I only deserve love and goodness and prosperity IF I am good enough. I lived in horrific fear of God and of making mistakes to anger God. I punished myself for decades!! Decades of self abuse and sagotage, out of shame and guilt and fear.

And then, Mary Magdalene laid beside me on the bathroom floor one night, my wrists and legs bloody from cutting, my body empty from vomiting and purging, my heart broken and shattered, my mind fragmented and lost. I did not want to be in a body on earth. I hated myself. I was ashamed of myself and I was afraid that I would always be punished for not being good enough. At this point I had been diagnosed bipolar after telling therapists and doctors of my abuse. I was heavily medicated and my psychiatrist had just told my family and partner that I should be put on disability. That I would never be able to work and shouldn’t have any more children.

I can feel the cold floor and pain that my former self endured. The human spirit is incredible. Over and over, I tried to leave my body. Over and over, Mary came to hold me and remind me who I am.

Mary Magdalene knew my heart like no other could. She knew the Love I carried. She knew the Love that carried me. She knew God THE GOOD and she walked me through the underworld to die over and over. I wanted to die, and I did. Mary has been my death doula and the midwife of my soul.

When it was time to die to the old and be reborn, she would walk along side me, guiding me home to my True Nature. LOVE.

Mary is a wayshower of Soul Retrieval for the world.

Mary is the Beloved of Yesheua, his most trusted, most honored, more beloved relationship. She is the One who carries the wisdom of the broken heart.

Tomorrow is the opening ceremony for Holy Rebels ~ The Magdalene Mysteries and today I am in tears holding my own beloved heart. For all I have walked through, crawled through and been carried through. Mary and Yeshua have loved and witnessed me for who I truly am. They held the mirror to me over and over, showing me the Love I am, the Light I am, the Hope I am, the Miracle I am. They taught me about the Truth of the Divine, of God the GOOD, God of LOVE!!!

What comes next for me is the culmination of 47 years in this body, carrying the heart that LOVES TO LOVE!

I am a Holy Rebel. I am a mystic. I am a death doula and a midwife of the soul. I am a Mother to many. I am a sister. I am a daughter of the Divine. I am a Magi and a Priestess in the Way of Love.

There is a way forward that is paved in miracles, magic and joy… and the WAY IS LOVE.

The invitation to die is terrifying and yet, it is much more terrifying and painful to NOT LIVE the life that is calling you forward.

I could have stayed stuck in the shame and fear. I could have stayed addicted to pain and suffering. I could have remained a slave to doctors, to men and women who had forgetten the Way of LOVE. I could have stayed broken. But I followed the LIGHT and chose the way of faith and love. I chose the Warrior Spirit of LOVE and that path has led me here to you. To love you with the depth of Love that has been gifted to us all. The Feminine Christ (the left hand path of Christ) is here to remind of sweet surrender into love. She, The Mother, teaches us about RECEIVING.

The First Power in Marys Gospel, is Darkness. She teaches us first, to see in the darkness, to remember who we are, to trust in the Light that comes from within your very own sacred heart.

Every manuscript left out of the Bible by the Couniel of Nicea contains the teachings of Yesheua and Mary of Magdalene that guide us to God within, to our own inner guide, our intuition, the love within, the love that is who we are created in and through, the innocence of being created in the image of God the Good.

THIS IS THE CALL FORWARD…. KNOW THYSELF AND YOU SHALL KNOW GOD.

Knowing God the Good that breathes through my own sacred heart, I am connected to the Divine within and in all of Nature and each of my brothers and sisters. There is no shame. There is no unworthiness. There is no failure. There is no scarcity. There is no hate, no violence, no fear. There is only LOVE. The HOLY (to make whole) REMEBERANCE OF WHO I AM AS LOVE!

If you feel the Holy Rebel within you calling your Soul forward to THE WAY OF LOVE, to REBEL (change and raise the frequency of your heart) it is my honor to walk beside you on this journey to contemplate the teachings of Mary, of Thomas, of the Feminine Christ and the Way of Love.

I see you

I love you

Come as you are,

Sarah