Met ~ a ~ mor ~ pho ~ sis
Met ~ a ~ mor ~ pho ~ sis
“I am telling you something that has been a secret.
We are not all going to die, but we shall all be changed.”
Love After Love
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
Written by Derek Walcott, West Indian Poet
Rebirth
I have been “reborn” many times.
We are made of stardust, literally.
We are eternal BEings.
In this life I have chosen the name Sarah Elizabeth Poe. I whispered my name to my parents when I was just a dream in their hearts. I chose well. My parents are two incredibly loving beings and I’m so grateful they “birthed” me into this journey. I chose to BE HERE NOW in this time, to play a part of the Great Awakening… (here’s a secret … you did too!)
I experienced a “rebirth” in 2008 when I chose to toss out all my big pharma pills and seek my path to healing through my souls connection with nature. This LEAP INTO MY FEARS took me on a long journey HOME to reclaim my power, my purpose and my peace. It was part of “shedding my skin”.
Over the past 11 years I have been in a war that waged inside of me. I made a brave choice on that day in 2008 that allowed me to be here now. Yahweh met me on my bathroom floor when I came home and threw out my pills. It was live or die. I had already experienced so many “dark nights of the soul”. I really wasn’t sure if I could even breath at that moment… but that is all I needed to do… BREATHE. Inhaling hope.
I would experience many more “dark nights of the soul”. Every woman who has experienced childbirth knows that birth involves pain. I would come face to face with “demons”, with my shadow side, with my own mirror. And I would hate myself even more, the more I woke up out of the “drug induced coma” that my doctors had helped create.
The beginning of being “reborn” is the hardest. Sober Sarah woke up and looked around at the destruction of her life, of her daughters life, her partners life, her family, her business… that is when it is hardest to get up and fight. Shame and guilt are both dark mistresses that do their best to quiet our loving Spirits. I hated myself. I hated myself so much. And I would have to take responsibility for listening to them and allowing myself to be so numb for so long. I played a part in this dark play I was living and it was up to me to exit stage left and start a new life!
Sweet Monet
Monet needed me to stick around. We still had a lot of work to do, but at this time, in 2008, I had all but forgotten my purpose. Sarah faded in and out. Moments of clarity never lasted long enough in the beginning, but they gave at least a glimpse of the dream of my future to hold on to. It was up to me to go inside and find my way back to the grand Universe that was waiting for me to wake up.. to come home and get back to work bearing the Light.
I still had many, many more lows where I wanted to leave the planet. Fear is a nasty virus on the entire system. The matrix uses our fears to control us and keep us from living our TRUTH (which is total ultimate DIVINE LOVE).
The good news is, I was never alone. We never are. Monet is my Soul partner for sure! She and I finish each others sentences and say the exact same thing at the exact same time enough to know we are sister stars! I can hear her and she doesn’t need to speak a word. True love is not seen, but felt in the heart. She kept bearing the Light until I was strong enough to hold it again with her. For this, there aren’t enough words or pages for words to express my love and gratitude.
“Light recognizes Light, and celebrates it, and honors it, and makes it FREE.” -Sara Sophia Eisenman
I have many, many angels, here on earth and angels unseen. They’ve been holding the Light for me always. I have sisters and brothers, family too, who never gave up on me.
And there were many who did give up on me, and that is OK too. I forgive them and I forgive myself. Most of all I’m grateful for all of the lessons that they each gave me. Those who walked away taught me great lessons too. Those lessons hurt the worst. The ones I loved so much who saw the worst in me, I prayed extra hard for and learned to let them go in love. I wasn’t easy to live with. I understand walking away from something you can’t fix. I pray for them still and I know that one day, we’ll have our peace too.
For the past decade I’ve faced my fears one by one. I’ve learned to surrender to the Divine flow that is MY JOURNEY and no one elses. I could sit here and say “I lost so much” but did I loose so much or did I just “LET GO”?
We “lost” several homes, when I crashed and couldn’t afford rent, when I wasn’t “successful” enough to keep up with my bills, when we went through break ups… Our things were in storage for years, while we lived in an airstream that our friends let us stay in, in another friends yard. We lived on couches and friends spare rooms. We carried what we needed in our car. We lived with my mom on a few occasions. There were many times when we didn’t have a car. We stayed one night with this friend and the next night with another. Sometimes it would get late and we wouldn’t want to bother anyone so we’d sleep in the car. Chaos become a comforting friend as we both learned to go with the flow. And the friends that opened their homes to us made us feel like their home WAS our home. THEY ARE TRUE FAMILY.. FOREVER!!!
I can remember one time, when Monet was 9, we were staying at a friends community space and my dad had let us have his convertible Miata. My other friend was letting Monet come to Montessori school for free while I “got my shit together” again. It was a good 45 -60 minute drive every morning and it was winter. I took the top down one day, when we’re having a normal warm day in December, so we could dance with the wind in our hair down Maybank highway. But the top got stuck. Like really stuck. And of coarse, winter returned the day in full force. The next morning I buckled Monet into her seat with blankets and a hat, a scarf, gloves (and her breakfast , cause we were running late…again) and we blasted the heat all the way to school. At least we had heat!!! We laughed so hard on those mornings, which were many mornings because it took us a while to figure out how to get the top back up.
I like to think we really entertained a lot of people in morning traffic and hope we lifted their spirits with some laughter. No shame in our game!!
When I finally got to a place where I could afford to get us a place of our own, it turned out, we didn’t need or even want any of the stuff I’d been paying to store all those years. That stuff didn’t bring me joy anymore. We had some things that were sentimental and we decided to keep but we were able to release a lot of stuff that we’d been holding onto for way too long. I had gone from a 3,000 square foot house in a big fancy neighborhood to being a gypsy and if you know me, you know which one is MY TRUTH (and luckily its Monet’s too!)
I didn’t “loose” anything.. my higher self was there helping me “LET GO” all along! Even when I wasn’t awake to this truth, it was the truth!! She knows my whole story, my TRUE SELF and she was holding my hand every step of the way. Great Spirit was with us, leading me home!!
Do you ever think, “I wish I knew then what I know now?” Yep. We’ve all been there.
Soon after we got our sweet little apartment in the neighborhood I’d always dreamed of living, surrounded by all my dear friends… Great Spirit came to us both in dream and called us to Standing Rock.
This time we surrendered completely, LET GO with purpose and we now live freely as gypsy, travelers of LOVE and LIGHT! (currently stationed at the Poe farm).
Spirit is the leader!! We ask and follow Spirits lead!
A huge part of my METAMORPHOSIS has been Mother Nature led! Plants have literally saved my life! I am in a sacred relationship with them now, they take care of me, I take care of them. And together we are ONE SACRED GIFT.
This past year I have been diving into my TRUTH on a whole new level. Healing is a spiral. We return to the same lessons over and over until the lesson is learned. I’m learning to have more patience with my healing process. Trauma takes time to heal and putting pressure on ourselves to fix it overnight won’t help the process. I’ve had 43 years in this body and next June I’ll step into my 44th year and I am so ready to celebrate and walk into the next part of this adventure!
I have been doing a lot of work with food and plant based healing for years now. I became a vegetarian the moment Monet entered my womb and over the years I’ve cleansed out other foods that were making me ill. I suffered from stomach issues for probably 15 or more years and I just got used to it and thought it was part of my life. Then I started studying gluten, round up, pesticides and the effect that the pharmaceuticals had done to my body all that time.
Many years ago I did a cleanse where I only ate raw food and took everything else out.. and one by one I would reintroduce foods to see what affected my body. Turns out that gluten and dairy aren’t my friends.
As I dove deeper into plant healing I decided I wanted to learn everything I could so I could help people heal with plants. My father was diagnosed with Parkinsons around 2012. Long story short, he has been healed through plant medicine and there are no signs of that ol’ gray matter hangin’ around his brain!
I could share LOTS of stories because the truth is
WE ARE ARCHITECTS OF OUR HEALING
THE POWER THAT MAKES THE BODY HEALS THE BODY
This past year I had been feeling called to hold a ceremony,
to make a vow of gratitude and service to the Divine
for my journey until now, and my journey forward.
Part of my vow is to be completely vulnerable and naked to the world so that I can shine my Light so bright it shines in the darkest of shadows. I’m not huge on selfies and I prayed a long time about sharing my story. This wasn’t an easy post to write but I love you and when we walk out of a dark room, we turn the light on and go back in to help our family find their way.
A few weeks ago on the new moon Monet and I held a ceremony in the field by the water and we shaved my head. Spirit had been calling me to shave my head for a couple years now actually. In Lakota culture when your’e in mourning you cut your hair. And when Grandpa Richard died, and the girls were taken away from us, I fell into such a deep grief that I wanted to shave my head. Standing Rock was a beautiful time in my life, but the time after, when our huge family was separated and dispersed to all 4 corners of the world,
I grieved... a lot… we all did.
Even though I understand the Divine plan and I know I’m part of the Rainbow bridge, and I know we’re going to shift everything and that this is all part of our collective growth.... the weight of the reality of the state of our world can feel heavy. You can’t turn on the news or facebook without having it right in your face. I’m an open hearted empath and I was in grief A LOT.
Seeing injustice with my own eyes… knowing the truth of life on the reservations is a stone in my heart. I love my relatives so deeply and I want to take all their suffering away.. They are my family now, and when I came back home, I had a really difficult time integrating back into my life. No one understood except those of us who called the camps at standing rock Home. I had a hard time seeing so much wealth around me, knowing the reality of Prison camps that still exist in a country that believes itself the “land of the free and the brave”.
I was going through another dark night of the soul. This time it was a grieving for the entire collective.
All beings. All plants. All 4 leggeds. All winged ones. All humans.
I felt torn between two worlds and part of me felt like I wasn’t in my total Truth.
I continued to practice all the things I know to help me shift anxiety and fear into gratitude and peace. I spent a lot of time in nature, in meditation, in “seeking”. I know that I serve the highest good from a place of joy so I knew I needed to dive into my own healing so I can help others and cultivate peace in the world.
After my birthday last year I decided to stop coloring my hair. Here I am, living in organic life, speaking about honoring the earth and being true to yourself and I was still holding on to my past self.
I started having dreams about my hair and about how sacred it is. Through these dreams and conversations with other sisters I respect, I realized how much power my hair holds. So I chose to hold a ceremony and shave my head in a vow of service for the Highest Good.
I made a date for my ceremony on the new moon in Scorpio and I was honestly very excited about it. I found myself giving thanks for my hair every day. In the shower, before bed… I brushed it every day and gave it so much love. I braid my hair every day, I have for as long as I can remember. Knowing we were about to part ways, I slowed down and appreciated every stroke of each braid. And because I love Braiding Sweetgrass so much, I thought of the prayer of braiding sweetgrass and my relationship to my hair and to nature.
On the morning of my ceremony, grief came into my room. All kinds of grief came up. And I allowed in to sit with me. Our hair holds great power. It holds our past. Mine held so much grief, all the years of drugs I put into my system, all the hair dye that masked my silver streaks. I got my first gray hair when I miscarried and soon after my hair began to turn silver all over. All that grief came into my room with me that morning and we sat together. I thanked them for all they had taught me and I let them go in love.
I wanted to take a few pictures of my hair before I cut it and when I turned the camera on myself I couldn’t hold back the tears. So I captured that, because it is my Truth and I’m not afraid of it anymore. Loving the “old Sarah” and the “new Sarah” and whatever “Sarah” is yet to be revealed is how I can integrate it ALL and serve from a place of peace and love.
I serve the army of Light. I am stardust and Light and I’m returning to my natural state of Being, pure and reborn into my power and magic. I’m doing my best to give up anything that no longer serves my highest good because it no longer serves the highest good of the collective. I’m not perfect and I don’t intend to be. But I do want to keep evolving and growing and I want to see the whole world turn their faces to the sun in peace and love.
Its been a few weeks since my ceremony and I feel SO FREE!
I know we can heal ourselves and each other... the power is in OUR hands ... it’s in our HEARTS! Our beautifully, perfect, Divine hearts.
May the Great Law of Peace and Love rule again in all hearts!!
Love rules the kingdom without a sword.
I love y’all!!
Here’s to my inner GI Jane integrating with my inner Rainbow Brite!!
